ㅑ 애ㅜㅅ ㅏㅜㅐㅈ 좀ㅅ ㅑ 므 ㅈ걋샤ㅜㅎ.


is it sad that i was so excited that there is a mork and mindy board game? and that i memorized the words?
i think this picture pretty much sums up my feelings toward the mork and mindy board game.

so i am in an internet cafe and im not really sure what im doing because the computer writes only korean…. but hey ill take what i can get.

and its neat because if i press a button this happens….ㅗ디ㅣㅐ ㅑ 므 ㅓㄷㄴㄴ ㅑ ㅣㅐㅍㄷ ㅛㅐㅕ.

less than two weeks and i leave 😦 im not ready. im not ready for a lot of reasons but these are the ones that come to the top of my head:

a) no more white rice and chicken meals at jollibee’s/mcDonalds
b) no more 60 brothers and sisters to annoy
c) no more “CR’s” ,”slippers,” “dippers”, 1 dollar pirated dvds, 2 dollar shoes
d) no more 4 am early mornings to at least one or more of the following: crying, screaming, laughing, bells ringing, roosters crowing, bus horn, strange mating noises of alley cats
e) no more hot dogs for breakfast
f) because i have no idea where to go from here.

i know i wont be the same, but i just hope i remember everything i have been taught.

some fun facts.

(there is no escaping them, even in the philippines)

i learned that here the bus drivers are trained, if a person walks in front of their vehicle, to speed up and to hit the person in such a way as to make sure the person doesn’t survive.

why you might ask?

so the bus company only has to pay one lump sum hospital bill as opposed to a never-ending hospital bill of a person on life-support.

note to self.

p.s. If anyone ever approaches you to offer you “Rugby”, they are most likely not asking you to join in their rugby game, but want you to buy a colorful balloon filled with fine white powder that is most likely not sugar.

strength.



yesterday i went to my first local matching, where the purpose is to match kids up for adoption with perspective families.

there were over twenty kids up for adoption and only five families. but by the end of the day only two children were matched with two families, the rest of the families were vetoed because they lacked in some way.

Of the 20 kids presented in the local matching, My Father’s House had one child, who unfortunately was not matched with a family. She is considered an “older” child, at only five years old, bc most families wish to adopt a child that is below one years old. i also learned that, as far back as they can recall, no one has ever adopted a child born from rape, prostitution or incest.

i was in awe of the process of the matching. i cant imagine carrying the weight of those decisions on my shoulders.
there was a committee made up of four people: two doctors, one attorney, and a professor. and twenty social workers representing the children from their organizations that were up for adoption.


i was amazed at how quickly families or children were put aside because they lacked this or that form or there was no signature here, or no picture there.
It is frusturating to think that there are so many kids who are looking for homes but yet the process to adopt in the Phillipines is so complicated. Even many filipino families have turned to adopting babies from China because the process is shorter and less expensive.

I know that the committee has the families and the children in their best interest,
but i cant imagine being responsible for putting family together or to think that the rest of their lives will be different because of a decision made one day in a small, hot room in the middle of Manila by four people whom they have never met.

I sat looking at these people responsible for choosing the families and wondered what they felt. what were they thinking when they put one child with a specific family? Did it bother them or had they done it so much that it barely registered. Did they the weight of their decisions catch up with them at the end of the day? Did they ever wonder if they made the right choice?

it doesnt surprise me that almost all of the social work organizations and adoption agencies in the philippines are Christian, because i dont know how they could do it without His help.

My supervisor confided in me on the ride home from the meeting that she was worried that she wasnt a good social worker anymore because sometimes she felt numb to some children’s situations (although i have never met a more compassionate and loving social worker than her). i see now how in order to survive in the social work field in the philippines, where you are surrounded by so much hurt and oppression,

you must find a supernatural strength outside yourself.

but to return. (11/08/05)


Let us stop for a moment,
let us behold what we have made.
let it blaze against the yew trees.
one life.
there. it is over. gone out…
But to return. let us again pretend that life is a solid substance,
shaped like a globe,
which we can turn about in our fingers.
let us pretend that we can make out a plain and logical story.

– Virginia Woolf

for the people who did know you and would have known you

thank you.
for taking me at my worst.
for picking me up,
washing me off, and setting me back on my feet.
& for still seeing me for who i was
and who i would be.

even i, who was not close to the blaze
could feel the warmth of your fire.