so much is in bud.


“From too much love of living
hope and desire are set free,
even the weariest river
winds somewhere to the sea-

surely our river
cannot already be hastening
into the sea of nonbeing?
surely it cannot drag, in the silt
all that is innocent?
not yet, not yet- there is too much borken
that must be mended,

too much hurt we have done to each other
that cannot yet be forgiven.

we have only begun to know the power that is in us if we would join
our solitudes in the communion of struggle.

So much is unfolding that must complete its gesture,

so much is in bud.
-Denise Levertov.

the greatest kind of poverty.


( picture of my friend from Boiro Spain, a former heroine addict, whose been clean for four years and just got married to his long time girlfriend, also a former addict, who now have dedicated their lives to helping others overcome addictions)

We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty. Mother Teresa

i think it is easier for me to dream big, thinking about far off places and people who are in need of love and in the mean time forget about those who are in my life on a daily basis. While my friends, family, colleagues (if i had a job 🙂 ) the lady who bags my groceries, or the guy i cut off on the tollway are forced to deal with the me that isnt always “there.”

there is a homeless man that is often in downtown naperville, rain or shine, sleet or snow, he is most likely to be found sitting on a bench in full view of anyone walking in downtown naperville, and while i talk talk talk so much about wanting to help others, i cant think of one time that i have sat down and talked to him….

just a thought. how can i say helping/loving/ and caring for people is what i want to do with my life and yet i forget to extend those graces to the people that are surrounding me?

“Forget regret,
or Life is your’s to miss.”

p.s. check out Peter’s amazing photographs from his recent month long trip to Ecuador…they are very inspiring.
http://www.sportsshooter.com/members.html?id=5557

check yo self before you wreck yo self.


wow. its been along time. im back at home (in Illinois) living with the fam, looking for a job so i can move out and move on 🙂 my plans for living in Buenos Aires Argentina and interning at an orphange there for the summer got moved to september, so im going kind of crazy…feeling like im stuck, not able to move forward or backwards…i hate waiting periods..but anyways…..

the south central LA urban farm failed to reach their goal of raising the 16.3 million dollars required to keep them from bulldozing their 14 acre farm land that helps sustain almost 350 families. in its place, plans are to build a warehouse. an eviction notice has been ordered as of May 24th, but has yet to be carried out…if your in the area (wish i was) and at all concerned about the situation with the urban farm, you should check it out, OR go to www.southcentralfarmers.org, to see what you can do by donating your time or money. every little bit helps. gracias.

We abuse land because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect.
– Aldo Leopold